Day 13 – Fighting my Self-Doubt

I’ve been working on these GD sleep masks all weekend. I say all weekend. What I mean is I’ve sat down to play with my sewing machine twice for about an hour at a time. I have been, however, stressed about it and dreaming about it every night. It probably doesn’t help that I wear one of them to bed every night now. 

The first time I sat down this weekend I was very discouraged. I couldn’t figure out how to make my seam look perfect. I went to bed thinking I would never be able to make these look the way I want them to. Adam, wonderfully encouraging husband that he is, told me I was looking at it wrong. Instead of making my seam opening at the top, why wouldn’t I make it where the straps attach? Duh! So, with my tail between my legs I sat down at the sewing machine again last night. It worked! Why couldn’t I see the solution myself? That’s what bugs me. Only, I was sooooo sleepy that I ended up sewing a rectangle instead of a sleep mask. BUT the seams looked the way I wanted them to even if it did look more like a geometry lesson than a beauty product.

Maybe tonight I can finally do everything the way I want. I’m going to need to pick up more stretch lace if I’m going to keep making “practice” masks. 

It takes a lot for me to encourage myself to keep going when I fail at something. I have to pretend that I’m talking to someone else and tell them that they CAN do it. They just have to try again. I have a habit of dropping a project as soon as I can’t do it perfectly. Maybe that’s why I gave myself a year. So that I could fail and start again numerous times. 

This post got a bit depressing. I’m sorry. But, also I’m not sorry. This is a journey and I’m bound to have bad days while becoming a super star. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Or was it? I was never that keen on history. Whatever. I’m sure Caesar had bad days too. 


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