I took Beans to the doctor yesterday for her Flu shot booster. After she cried and we nursed in the doctor’s office I decided to run a few errands before getting back on the bus. Maybe she would fall asleep and not cry the entire way home. She hadn’t had a good nap yet and cried on the bus ride there.
I went to the book store and got too many books. I went to Starbucks and got some frozen chocolate thing in a cup with whipped cream. Then I went to wait for the bus. In the ten minutes it took for the bus to arrive Beans had almost fallen asleep. She was seconds away from being completely gone.
I got on the bus and it was busy. A nice woman offered me her seat which I gratefully accepted. That was my mistake. The other woman sitting at the front of the bus said as loud as possible “Aaaaaawe”.
Like she had never seen a baby before. She couldn’t even see my baby. Beans had her sweater hood up and her face was buried in my coat. I guess we look cute together. I am pretty cute.
As soon as she opened her obnoxious mouth Beans started to rouse and cry. So I shushed the woman.
That’s right. I fucking shushed a stranger on the bus because she nearly woke up my baby.
The look on her face made me see that she did not understand what was going on so I whispered “ sleeping” to her. She nodded but still looked indignant. Like I fucking care if I hurt your feelings.
Ugh. I know I should care. I know I don’t want to be rude but when it comes down to being polite to strangers I’m forced to be near and making sure my baby falls asleep after the flu shot you sure as hell know I’m picking my baby.
Beans did not want to go to sleep so I stood up carefully on the moving bus to bounce her. She kept raising her head in protest. Sleepy sleepy protest. And that’s when the woman said loudly “She’s not sleeping now!” I gave her a look that could only mean “you’ll be sleeping with the fishes if you don’t shut up and let me do my job!” At least that’s what I hope the look said. I had sunglasses on so maybe she didn’t see the fury in my eyes. She stopped talking and Beans fell asleep.
The rest of my bus ride experience including this woman talking to other mother on the bus and making comments like “manners are important”, “your baby is beautiful”, ” so nice to see a nice young mother” all while giving me side long glances.
I hate riding the bus. I still don’t understand what it is about babies that makes crazies think they can suddenly be involved in my daughter’s life. No, you can’t know her name, there’s no reason to tell you her age, yes, she looks cute, no, she doesn’t like strangers.
Neither do I.
Illusions of Creativity 