We went on vacation. Selfishly, we went on vacation by ourselves. Well, not vacation exactly. We dorked out and went to a Board Game Convention (that’s another story for another time).
We left Beans with my parents for 77 hours. Three bedtimes. Four naptimes. Endless hours of fun. Which we were not a part of.
I have extremely mixed emotions about this.
On one hand, I had such a fucking great time on vacation with my husband. We drank beers, we ate at restaurants without worrying about how much to tip because they’d have to clean up after our kid, we played so many games, met some really cool people and generally reconnected.
On the other hand, I didn’t get to read her bedtimes stories, sing her songs before her nap, get her milk, watch her climb stairs at the park, teach her about feeding the ducks, give her her first timbit (yes, Dad, I know what you did), make her laugh.
Is this meant to be cut and dry? I’ve always been more comfortable with cut and dry conclusions but I don’t think parenthood is going to work that way. I’m always going to want to spend all my time with Beans. She is fucking cool. But, I’m also going to want a break from parenting.
Sometimes you just want to spend a day not saying “not in your mouth”, “on your bum”, “sit down, turn around”, “the dog doesn’t like it when you rip out her fur”.
The worst and best part was coming home. When she saw us it was like she finally realized we had been missing. My parents did such a great job of keeping her distracted that when she saw us she immediately started crying. She hugged me so hard I thought she might bruise me. She didn’t let go of me until she fell asleep that night.
She missed me too.
And now I will never leave her again.
Just kidding. Sort of.